Learning & Development

Dec 01, 2021 11 min read

The Best Coach to Rewire people


Coaching is a form of developmental intervention in which someone called a Coach who supports a client (Coachee) in achieving a specific goal by providing training and guidance through partnering in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires Coachee to maximize the potential within. So, a coach is someone who can help people in driving effectively while being in the driving seat; the someone who can help people transition from one driving seat to another driving seat; the someone who can be a good companion, friend, philosopher, guide and motivator in the life of people when they are in doubt to discover hidden best within them.

The term "Coach" was used around 1830 in Oxford University slang for a tutor who "carried" a student through an exam. The word "Coaching" is thus identified as a process used to transport people from where they are to where they want to be! As everyone has his/her own coordinates (beginning point in terms of time and space) of existence, everyone needs a specific and customized strategic roadmap to reach the next level of the journey supported by someone who can partner in this customized journey. Coaching is a developmental intervention that has a long trailblazer, which can be traced back to a great thinker and philosopher Socrates, who believed that people learn best when they have ownership of a situation and context and take some form of personal ownership for the intended results. In the contemporary world, coaching has played a crucial role in sports. But the true potential of coaching as an organizational development approach has only been recognized in the last few decades.

Coaching revolved around unlocking a person's potential to maximize performance. There are generally two types of coaching: directive and non-directive. The directive form of coaching is a form of coaching wherein a coach helps clients to learn and provides feedback and advice-Teach and provide a feedback approach. However, in non-directive coaching, the coach requires to listen, ask questions, explore, and allows the clients to find solutions to problems and challenges. In real life, this means that some coaches merely assert their wisdom, knowledge, skill, and abilities, whereas great coaches empower and enable people to go beyond their comfort zone. Coaching can be applied in all walks of life-Motivating staff, delegating, problem-solving, relationship issues, team building, and staff development and most importantly designing the life which people love to live both in their personal and professional capacity irrespective of their present situation. It is focused on what people being coached want to achieve, what their goal is and how they can achieve it in life. Coaching is a collaborative journey that encourages people to know their true value and potential and live and unleash them while striving to achieve their goals in life. Great coaches challenge limiting beliefs and reinforce positive beliefs by providing tasks followed by feedback and feedforward.

The key essence of coaching is as under:

  1. To help people change in the way they wish and help them go in the direction they want to go to.
  2. Coaching provides handholding support to a coachee at every stage in becoming what they want to achieve and who they want to be.
  3. Coaching builds awareness and empowers choice and leads to change.

Coaching has traditionally been associated with games and sports. Every top sportsperson has a coach to help maximize performance. Since, last few years, coaching has become famous and in every walk of life, be it professional, be it in the personal sphere. Almost every aspect of life, including sport, is covered by the coaching industry. Now, it is quite obvious for people to hire a coach to help them achieve their life goals.                  

Coaching is an accountability partnership between coach and Coachee based on trust. The Coach helps their clients to achieve their personal best and to produce the results which they dream of achieving in their personal and professional lives irrespective of in which driving seat they are. The coaching process ensures the Coachee can give the best, learn, and develop in the way they dream of developing.

Types of Coach

Having a coach while being in the driving seat is important and critical to speed up what do you want to be in life irrespective of in which driving seat you are! So, ideally speaking, it would be better if you have a coach throughout your life journey. If you ask yourself where you can find a coach who can partner with you throughout your life while being in the driving seat? You might end up searching in the outside world. And, as such, there is nothing wrong in it, but the real and ultimate response lies in the inner world which exists within you. Yes, you need an external coach to help in searching that hidden coach within you till you develop your inner coach completely to become independent of the external one!

Therefore, there are primarily two types of coach—the first one which exists within you (Inner World Coach) and the second one which exists outside you (Outer World Coach). Take the help of the outer world coach to search the inner coach. There are two versions of "Me" who reside within you- The Second Me and First Me. Learn to connect with these two "Me" within, listen to their chat throughout life and nurture the Second Me. You may take the help of some suitable coach in the outer world to fully develop the inner coach within you.

“The ultimate best coach is hidden within you, but you need external one to discover it. So, Turn Inside for the Best Coach who is available in every moment of life.” – Ram Raj

Inner Coaching World

Turn Inside for the Best Coach Available 24X7 time free of cost

Kabir has rightly said, "Kasturi kundal base mrag dhundhat ban Mahi. Jyo ghat ram hai Duniya dekhe nahi," i.e. a deer has aroma within but runs throughout the forest for finding it. Similarly, Ram (God) is everywhere, but the world does not see. Similarly, the best Coach is within you, but you are not able to see it. Therefore, let us discover the coach within. How to do that? Maybe, you need someone to help discover the coach within!

Close your eyes and ask yourself whenever you are in doubt. You will hear responses from within as if two coaches talking to each other continuously until one becomes too hobby to listen to another. These two coaches you may call, a Second Me or Second Me coach and First Me or First Me coach. The Second Me Coach represents positivity, a believer in possibility and hope who will always guide you to achieve best within you by continuously motivating, asking challenging questions and helping you reflect back on choices you make in life and self-auditing on progress made on a day-to-day basis. Whereas the First Me within or the First Me Coach represents negativity, selfishness, strong criticism, and is an enemy of the Second Me Coach whose only aim is to counter the Second Me Coach in everything, every time and everywhere. But the First Me Coach acts as an opposition for the Second Me coach, which indirectly helps the Second Me Coach to improve upon continually.

Just note the chat between Second Me Coach and First Me Coach on a piece of paper and reflect back on same. Which coach you have hired to guide you depends on whom you follow on a day-to-day basis: Second Me Coach or First Me Coach!

Life is full of endless dilemmas, decision points, turning points, and choices to be made each day, mandatorily, while being in the driving seat. Let us visualize through the given-below example as to how we can find and nurture the best inner coach.

Spare some quiet time for self, sit calmly with pen and notebook, close your eyes, and ask the questions as described below under situation (S). Listen to the conversation between two "Me" hidden within you. Open your eyes after some time and journal the chat in the notebook. Re-read the chat history and decide who stand for your betterment in the long run?

Situation (S): At what time do you wake up in the morning? Who is the in-charge of your wake-up timing? Is it you or situations are deciding factors?

Second Me (SM): Early morning wake-up at around 4:00 AM can provide a good time for self: Morning walk and doing things of choice like reading, writing, etc.

First Me (FM): Humm …. it's good but don't you think it's difficult to wake up at 4:00 AM? We need a night of proper sleep, and for that, we must go to bed at around 10:00 PM to wake up at 4:00 AM next day.

Second Me (SM): Yes, you are right. It is difficult, but if we plan, we can do it. At least try and let's see what happen.

First Me (FM): Planning …. tomorrow does not unfold as one wishes it to and everybody is not a morning person.

Second Me (SM): What is the harm in trying? If you are determined, you can go to bed on time and accordingly, wake-up in the morning. By the way, whether you are a morning person or not is up to you.

First Me (FM): Hahaha … it is easier said than done. Don't be too serious. Life is not to be taken seriously. Enjoy the cosy morning sleep!

Second Me (SM): I understand multiple factors are affecting the schedule. But, don't you think you can manage them if you wish to manage realistically?

First Me (FM): It is easy to preach but difficult to do.

Second Me (SM): Humm, I am preaching without doing and what are you doing? You are not taking actions in a positive direction.

………………

Endless conversation: no one is willing to give up. It is you, sitting between the First Me and Second Me who is going to decide whom to hire as a Coach in life and follow—Second Me or First Me?

A famous theory developed by Richard Boyatzis; PhD called Intentional Change propounded five common-sense focus areas that need to be given attention if an individual wants to make a lasting change within oneself. These five focus areas are as given below:

  1. Discover your ideal self
  2. Discover your real self
  3. Create your learning agenda
  4. Experiment with and practise new habits
  5. Get support

From the last step, (get support) in the intentional change theory, it is evident that everyone needs a coach at some point of time till your inner coach is fully developed, irrespective of who you are and in which driving seat you are in the present situation. As a partner, parents, peer, professional, pioneer and path maker and as a preacher and priest, in every role, you need a coach to excel in your life.

Outer Coaching World

The world is witnessing exponential growth in the learning and development space cum coaching industry. And, such impressive progress has never been experienced in the past. There are obvious reasons for that: People have now become more open to designing their life according to what they love to live through their self-driven learning and development. Nowadays, it is not embarrassing to go to a coach and work on self-development. In my view, the simplest definition of a coach could be, "A Coach is someone who empowers people to move from their current state to the state where they want to be in the future!" From this simple definition, it is easy to see the vastness, depth and breadth of the coaching world as people are driving life in their own context. They may be struggling to find the inner world alignment with the outer world while driving in the intrapersonal driving seat, they may be driving their life as common man, they may be driving their life as a working professional, they may be driving their life as an entrepreneur, they may be driving their life as a business leader, they may be driving their life as a social or spiritual leader etc. So, people in each driving seat need help and support to accelerate their life journey. Fundamentally, there is only one type of coach in the outer world, and that is, "The Life Coach" who help clients to design the life they love to live!

Coaches use different coaching models to meet their coaching style to match their client's needs to get the best results. There are numerous coaching models available for professional coaches. However, no one model is good or bad; but these models are helpful tools to empower you to cater your coaching styles to different environments. The Driving Seat Coaching Model coupled with the ESCAPE Velocity Model can prove to be the most comprehensive coaching model for a coach irrespective of the niche who can customize the model to produce the results as the context demand. One can easily visualize the models within the driving seat model. Depending upon which driving seat your client is, you can apply the model accordingly in combination with the other existing model of coaching to produce the desired results.

The driving seat model gives a big picture, conceptual framework and broader boundaries which is applicable universally irrespective of context. Some of the well-known coaching models are described below, which can be used in combination with the driving seat model to suit the chemistry between coach and coachee.      

GROW Coaching Model

It is one of the well-known coaching models propounded by well-known executive coach Sir John Henry Douglas Whitmore who was a pioneer of the executive coaching industry, an author and British racing driver.

The GROW coaching model includes four steps:

1. Goal: In the goal-setting session, your clients will set his or her goals which will drive the coaching relationship. It will also make the conversation between you and your client more focused.

2. Reality: Once you know the goal of the client, you will now let him or her understand his or her existing skills, strength, competence etc. This is an opportunity stage for you as a coach to build the client's confidence so that the clients can achieve his or her dream life goals.

3. Options: Under this stage of the coaching model, you will help your client to explore various options as a coach. You will let him or her understand that it is possible to develop his or her ideas so he or she can approach the closing session without any discomfort.

4. Wrap Up: The moment your client has found multiple options for his or her dream life goal, he or she can now select the best options and work on the same with commitment and dedication. Being coach, you have to ensure he or she is committed with his or her actions on the ground and has proper awareness about when, how and where he or she can find help as and when requires.

The OSKAR Coaching Model

This coaching model is based on the Solutions Focused Approach. The OSKAR coaching model contains a robust framework that is meant to focus more on solutions rather than problems. It includes five steps:

1. Outcome: As a coach, first, you have to understand the long and medium-term goals of your client and what she or he plans to achieve. At this point, you can ask her or him various questions to understand what she or he wishes to get from this coaching session and help her or him to see desired outcomes.

2. Scaling: On getting a clear picture of the outcome, you can ask probing questions to know the current level of the client about his or her current goals.

3. Know-How: As a coach, you will help your client to understand the skills or qualities or competence and mindset needed and the ways to establish resources to materialize the outcomes.

4. Affirm and Action: Now, you will provide positive reinforcement to your client through positive comments and help her or him to understand what actions she or he must take to get the intended results.

5. Review: In this stage, you have to review the whole process as per the client's intended actions. Understand what is better and worked and what can be changed next time if required.

The CLEAR Coaching Model

The coaching model propounded by Peter Hawkins has five stages. It is a perfect acronym for its stages mentioned as under:

  1. Contracting: The first step to the CLEAR Model is Clarity of the Goals. The degree of clarity in intended goals will open up discussions and the scope of the coaching session. It will also help to set the rules- How to move ahead to achieve the goals.
  2. Listening: Active listening by the coach about the client's goals, competence, skills, abilities, strengths and weaknesses to help clients chart out the way forward is the main focus under this stage.
  3. Exploring: In this stage, you will need the clients to understand the impact of different situations. Motivate with a bit of challenge to the client for thinking for a better future and possibilities.
  4. Action: In this stage, help your client to choose actions to be taken on the ground so he or she can move forward to design the life which he or she dreams of living!
  5. Review: This is the last stage where you need to reinforce all that happen in previous stages which includes key commitments. Motivate the client to give feedback to understand what was useful to him or her and what are the major areas where he or she can improve!

The list of models mentioned above is, by no means, exhaustive. There could be as many coaching models as the number of coaches in the world. No one coaching model is right or wrong, but it is helpful when you can meet your coaching styles in different environments. The driving seat coaching model, coupled with the escape velocity model, can be the most comprehensive coaching model wherein a coach can see the model within the model. As a coach, you can use the driving seat model to motivate the coachees to achieve the highest Growth through successive achievement by an effective transition from the current life to the next desired life. But if you carefully analyse the driving seat model coupled with the escape velocity model, it can prove to be a base for all the coaches out there in the world to develop their own customized coaching model which produces the best results for them and their clients! So, if you are someone who dreams to materialize his/her own dream life which you love to live or if you are someone who dreams to help other people to design the life they love to live, use the driving seat model to inculcate Growth and infinite mindset within you and your client and embark on the unique journey!

     

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